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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

7dp5dt - faintest line on hpt!




Do you see a line in the above picture? :)


I and Rajender waited anxiously for 3 minutes and looked at the test window of hpt, it was white as snow, no sign of a line. I thought it was all over. After sometime, I again peeked at the test window without much hope. I felt that I saw something. Rajender also took a look. We were totally confused. Was it really a line? There was a shadow but it didn't have a pink hue to it. We then took a look at the second hpt which is a different brand from the first one. It showed a faintest possible line too, like a shadow. I felt happy, Rajender was happy too. The times where we celebrated for getting a line on hpt were all gone. We just looked each other in disbelief. Even if it is a positive we knew that there is a long, uncertain road in front of us. I called my mom and showed the line to her. I also warned her that she shouldn't raise her hopes too high. She said, "Manju, all will be well" I smiled at her in disbelief.
 
I took a picture of hpt and mailed it to Dr. Malpani. I know he will be happy to know the result. He replied, "Will you do a blood test, please?" I understood that he was not sure about that faintest line. I called the person who measured AMH, his name is Arun. He said that he will come and collect blood. He promised to give the result by evening. Those 6 or 7 hour wait for the blood test result was horrible; it felt as if the time stood still. When I got a call from Arun, my hands were shivering. What if the line I saw in the hpt was just an evaporation line, did I imagine it to be a positive! I picked up the call and he said, "It is a positive ma'm, your beta-hCG is 44". What a relief! I called Dr and he was very happy, he said that it was a very good value for that stage of my pregnancy. “Repeat the test after 48h”, he suggested. Everything appeared magical. I replayed in my mind all the events that happened during the last few months. I was in utter disbelief. “Are we blessed or will this joy end prematurely”-that was the question in my mind. I prayed, "God, if it is destined to end, let it end now. I can't go through another pain. It will cripple my life forever".
 
On 9dp5dt (48h later) Arun came to our home and collected blood again. I waited for the evening and for his call. He called promptly and said, “It is increasing”. I asked eagerly, "How much is the value?" He replied and my heart broke. It was a mere 65! It didn't double. The doubling time was 85h (31h-72h is normal). It increased only 47% (a 50% increase by 48h is considered normal)! I felt life is playing another cruel joke with me. After the initial self-pity and tears, I regained my original self. I understood that nothing could be done if it is going to end. On the other hand, I also wondered about the possibility of lab error. I called Arun again. Poor guy, he must have regretted his luck of having a customer like me. I asked him so many questions, I wanted to know how he transported the blood, was it exposed to high temperatures, what kind of test kit and machine they use, was it automatic or done manually, how was the standard prepared, whether it was done in duplicates or triplicates, did he use the same lot of test kit as it was done two days back. He was frustrated. At the end he told me, “please come with me I will perform the test in front of you” :) He also told me, why don't you give one sample to Bose clinic. It is a bigger lab which is there in Madurai for a long time and hence famous too!

In the evening, we went to Bose lab. They collected blood and said that I will get the result the next day evening. Again another horrible waiting game started! Next day evening I called them. Someone spoke on the other side. She said, your beta-hCG is 18! I was in shock, absolute shock. It took me some time to come out of it and think clearly. I thought, "What nonsense is it! I took hpt this morning and evening too, the lines are getting brighter than it was on 7dp5dt. Then how could the beta-hCG be 18!" I got so irritated and called the lab again. After I told my grievance, they connected me to the head of the lab. He introduced himself as a doctor. He said, “come again and give blood, we will talk in person”. I hided my irritation and asked whether they have my previous blood sample. He said that they still have it. So I asked him to repeat the test with it. He promised, “I myself will check your blood tomorrow and call you with the result". I kept the phone. I couldn't believe anyone. I thought, “how poorly they run labs in India, if I hadn't used hpt how scared I would have been by now!" I and Rajender again went to nearby medical shop, brought hpt, checked my urine again for beta-hCG, the line was getting brighter. It had a beautiful pinkish tinge to it. If the line is brighter than on 7dp5dt, my value can never be 18. And moreover, the sensitivity of hpt I used is 20 miu. I have to atleast have 20 miu in urine to have the faintest line!  This means my blood levels should be much higher. I gave a deep sigh of relief.

The next day morning, first thing I did was to call Arun. He was humble and kind enough.He came home for blood collection. It was 11dp5dt. I asked him to collect two samples, one to measure in his lab and one to send to SRL! 

11dp5dt report came and it was 116, a decent increase from the previous value which is 65. SRL report showed almost similar value. I started to have faith in Arun. That doctor from Bose lab called me in the evening. I picked up the phone and he said, " I checked it myself today and it is now 19". I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. I didn’t even have the strength to explain him, to say that their test is wrong or to shout at him. I just said OK and kept the phone. I decided I will never ever go to them! 

Then 69h later (14dp5dt) my beta-hCG was 242. 96h later (18dp5dt) it was 832.  The doubling time was never 48h or less. Except the first two values (where the doubling time was 85h) everything else fell within the 72h doubling time limit. I kept on having blood tests. After 25dp5dt it crossed the 10,000 mark. I haven't seen such shaky betas online and most women with such slow rising betas didn't have a happy ending. I was confused, sad and afraid. I cried many a day. I told Dr, “Dr, if this is not meant to be, let it end quickly. I couldn't bear this torture". He replied, "I am praying for a happy ending 36 weeks from now".


I didn't go for a scan early. I decided I will go for a scan only at 7 weeks and not before. If I go early and again if I end up with some uncertainty, like, sac is there, fetal pole is there but no HB, then that suspense will kill me. So I decided to have a scan at 7 weeks irrespective of Dr's advice. I was scared of ectopic but I was even more scared of an inconclusive report!

Rajender asked me, "Manju, will you stay with amma until your first scan, can I go to AP?" It was very boring for him in Madurai; his parents will miss him and would want him to be with them; he has friends there so that he will feel better there and moreover his niece, who is doing medicine, will come for holiday so that they could spend some time together."  I said, “Ok, you go there. I have to just go for scan and I will manage." I really, really thought he will feel much better in AP with his parents and sister. He asked me again and again whether he must stay back. Deep inside, I wanted him so badly near me; it was horrible to live with uncertainty and alone. But I wanted him to be comfortable too. I felt sorry for him when he sat at home all day without knowing what to do. So, I said firmly, “you can go, I will manage". One fine day he left to AP and I made him regret his decision!

The horrible 3ww started. My mom will buy everyday 2hpts for me (like buying chocolate when I was young). That was my only solace, taking pregnancy test morning and evening! The lines got thicker and thicker and when the test line reached the thickness of control line, it remained the same.

How did I get through the 3ww? What happened at the end of it?

38 comments:

  1. hey manju, I am so happy to see you have got positive hpts. I am super excited here, don't know why!!! I know it is an agonising wait till you cross the safe time. Don't worry about shaky values sometimes these ranges mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Our human body is the most amazing complex wonderful creation of god. It does have a mind of its own! (pun intended). Look back to the beginning of this treatment cycle...your AMH which came out super low.... yet here you are with multiple positive hpts in your hand. I seem like a realistic person but there is no harm in being positively realistic, so chin up. As for your hubby being away, sometimes it works out for good. Sending you my love and best wishes - MM

    ReplyDelete
  2. Omg Manju!!
    I haven't read the whole post yet as I was so excited to congratulate you.
    Just commented to ask about the stimulation protocol on one of your post and as soon as got to the home page, saw your update.
    May you have a happy and healthy 36 weeks.
    May god bless you.
    Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just eat and rest well and most importantly... Stay happy! =)
    Happy mummy = Happy baby
    Hugs~ Feli

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congratulations dear!. Wish u a very happy n healthy pregnancy. My RE gives Sifasi hp 5000 soon after beta hcg is confirmed positive(14 days post trf) n repeats beta hcg once 5 days. Is Sifasi not needed n in which week ultrasound to be performed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!

      The medicine you have mentioned is hCG. Giving hCG after a positive pregnancy test is not going to help with the further growth of embryo. If the implanted embryo is healthy and without genetic defect, it will give rise to a healthy baby irrespective of whether hCG injection is given or not. I think doctors give hCG after positive pregnancy test because they believe hCG injection might help in better progesterone production from remnant corpus luteum and hence prevent bleeding early in pregnancy, they think it helps to maintain the integrity of endometrial layer. But, this is not true. If the embryo is healthy enough it produces enough hCG to coax your ovaries to produce enough progesterone. On the other hand, giving hCG injection might interfere with calculating hCG doubling time. hCG doubling time early in pregnancy helps to rule out ectopic pregnancy. So it is wise to avoid hCG (sifasi) injection and measure hCG 48h later after the first blood test.

      Once your blood hCG reaches a value above 1000 an ultrasound MUST be performed to make sure that the sac is in the uterus. This will be normally around 5 weeks. Then another ultrasound is performed around 6-7 weeks to assess viability, that is to make sure your embryo has a heart beat.

      Hope this helps!

      Delete
  5. Hello Manju,
    Congrats! Stay positive and things will work out just fine. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes. It does help. Let me put my understanding here. Supposing the beta hcg is 800 14days post trf, repeating after 48hrs(16dp trf) should be around 1600 if no hcg injection given. If its not doubling then better to get ultrasound done to rule out ectopic pregnancy. Do you suggest ultrasound in the 5th week 18dp5dt irrespective of the beta value above or below 1000 to rule ectopic pregnancy?. What are the symptoms of a ectopic pregnancy?. Could you post a blog on what after beta hcg is positive including how to interpret the beta values n what weeks to get ultrasound n what medications to be taken. Please do post a blog on this when you have time. This would be very helpful. Thanks a lot. Lots of good luck n best wishes to you. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Properly doubling hCG not only rules out ectopic but gives an assurance that the pregnancy is progressing well. On the other hand, a properly doubling hCG doesn't always means the pregnancy is in the uterus. So it is a must to have ultrasound at around 5 weeks or when your beta-hCG reaches 1000.

      Will try to do as you suggest :) Thanks!

      Delete
  7. Great!. Will wait for that blog. Please include week by week progress/interpretation if pregnancy including when/what tests r suggested n medications/precautions to be taken if u can. Also any do's/dont's. I wish n pray everything is going smooth with u n u have ur dream coming true soon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Manju, very happy to read this update! I saw this just now after emailing you! Loads of love and best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!! God bless you! Love, Anjani :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Manju

    I was waiting for this news literally. Sending you loads of positive vibes.

    Take care of yourself. Now I understand why you suggested SEL :)

    Good Luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, you are wrong! I didn't say that you must transfer a single embryo just because I got a positive with SET. I say to everyone now because of the horrible times I went through with twin pregnancy. Multiple pregnancy is not normal for a human body. It is very, very hard on your body and soul. Moreover, women undergoing infertility and infertility treatment tend to think that having a baby is their only goal. After going through many heartbreaks due to infertility treatment, they tend to believe that getting a positive is their main aim and are ready to transfer multiple embryos. Actually, having a healthy baby in hand must be every woman's goal who are going through infertility treatment. Carrying twins or more increases your chance of having premature babies who might not survive and even if they survive can end up with multiple health problems (this happens in majority of cases).If that happens, even after overcoming infertility, women won't be able to enjoy the happiness of motherhood. It could actually turn into a bitter experience full of sadness, grief and guilt. So please avoid transferring multiple embryos.

      Delete
  10. I just knew it!!! A VERY BIG CONGRATULATIONS Manju and Rajender!! May the road ahead be smooth for you! Please get proper rest and take the utmost care of yourself! You are not one now but two!! My prayers are with you!! LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS, Nio

    ReplyDelete
  11. Manju, i am so very excited to see this post. I have been stalking your site waiting for an update. I am so glad that you got your positive beta and hope for an uneventful pregnancy for you. I can't tell you how happy i am for you.

    I agree with you on the SET- our RE tried to convince us to transfer two but being of advanced maternal age (40+) i did not want any additional complications that a multiple pregnancy could bring. I am now almost 10 weeks pregnant with one little one. Sally

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sally, I wish you only the best! May you have a very happy pregnancy. You took a very intelligent decision. Congratulations!

      Delete
  12. Dear Manju akka,
    Just now saw this blog for the first time ..
    And a big hug and congrats to you ...
    May Goddess Garbharakshambikai protect your lil one..

    I am also in my 2WW after an embryo transfer on 27th Sep.
    My Beta - Hcg test on 11th Oct.
    Its my first ICSI ... and feel like time has stopped moving..
    Today is my 13th day post ET.

    From past two days I have cramps on an off..
    Then.. gastric issues along with constipation and lower back ache..
    Lil worried as I dont know its normal..

    Finger crossed to get a positive!!

    Congrats once again and trust me..
    Lil Krishna is on HIS way to your home :) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Priya,

      That's very, very kind of you! Thanks a lot for all the kind words!

      All that you experience is normal. Lots of good luck coming your way! May your dream come true soon.

      Manju

      Delete
  13. Hello Manju

    Totally agree on SEL. All we need is healthy and happy baby.

    I work as a compuuter programmer. Thinking about how much rest I would need after FET. Here my RE says 2 days including day of transfer. Can you please let me know your thoughts.

    Take good care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think two days should be fine. Even one day should be Ok :) No rest is OK too :) But do what your heart says, so that you don't blame yourself for the outcome!

      Delete
  14. We had some pretty loopy betas with Ellie, too. We're rooting for you Manju! Fingers crossed, cautious optimism.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Very big congratulations Manju! I wish I'm able to give you a big hug now :-) You'll enjoy your pregnancy.Rest and relax as much as you can. I'm just super excited for you.....our kids will soon start playing together.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I feel for you and wish I could be by your side at the scan. The 3ww is indeed a torture.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hello Manju....was this your fresh transfer this time? Take care

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi Manju, hope your 3 ww is going smoother. It is ironic though we want our biological clock to stand still the 2 ww or in your case 3 ww it doesn't seem to get any quicker. Atleast you have anonymous well wishers holding your hands in this virtual reality. I want to pick your brains regarding endometrial thickness. I started my first round of clomid this month, day 3-7. My endometrial thickness on day 2 was 2.4 cm just prior to starting clomid. Had a day 11 scan - all the doctor could say was nothing happening on left or right ovary and endometrium was still thin. He asked me to start 100 mg next cycle and was away. But that is the NHS in the UK very thoughtful doctors indeed. Anyway I wasn't expecting miracles as my ovary is even more stubborn than me! But it got me thinking about endometrial thickness and pcos. How does the endometrium grow for women with pcos? Do the pcos hormone profile that delay ovulations also delay the growing of endometrium? Or does the endometrium continue to grow normally irrespective of when ovulation occurs in a long PCOS cycle (say a typical 50-60 day cycle). Basically can I ovulate on day 30 and have a suitable endometrium thickness for implantation? Or by day 30 would my endometrium be too thick? Pop an answer when you get a chance. tc - MM

    ReplyDelete
  19. True, MM :) I am very, very thankful for the support I get from you all. I am gifted to get so much anonymous support.

    Can I know your age? How was your PCOD identified ? Do you know your AMH value and AFC ? What is your BMI?

    The interesting thing is PCOD comes in all different varieties. Some women who have PCOD will need minimum strength ovulation stimulation drugs such as clomid and femara. They will work fine and they conceive. But there are some PCOD women in whom drugs like clomid will have no effect. They need strong drugs like FSH injection to induce ovulation. Clomid works by blocking estrogen receptors in your brain. So your hypothalamus (a part of brain) thinks that there is low estrogen and stimulates pituitary to produce more FSH. This FSH produced acts on ovaries leading to follicle growth and ovulation. Some women respond to lower doses of clomid and some need higher dosage. Clomid should not be used for more than 6 cycles. Longer cllomid use can lead to thin endometrial lining and even some very harmful side-effects.

    In your case, the dosage of clomid you took is not enough to achieve ovulation. Only when follicles grow on your ovaries, estrogen will be produced. Only when estrogen is produced, it will aid in the growth of endometrial lining. Hence the thin llining and not because of clomid use.

    Actually women with PCOD have high estrogen in their body. They have very thick endometrial lining too. Because of too high estrogen and male hormones, they fail to ovulate! So, for a woman with PCOD endometrial thickness is not a problem. They might even grow too thick endometrium because they ovulate late as you said. I don't think too thick endometrium prevents conception. Very few publications, in the context of IVF say that endometrial layer greater than 14 or so is deleterious but there are no studies with enough strength to show so.

    Have you undergone all basic infertility tests? What are all done? Please answer my questions, then it is easier for me to give better answer.

    ReplyDelete
  20. many congrats manju
    i wish and hope ...this time every thing just happens in smooth way..

    ReplyDelete
  21. Congratulations and Good luck. Wish u all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear Manju akka,
    Priya here..
    My beta hcg result is out...and its BFP.
    :) :) ...
    Value was 717 during 14th day of transfer.
    Now I do get some watery discharge..
    Its clear like water.. mostly when I wake up early in the mornings..
    And I have a nerve pull from belly button once am done with passing urine..
    All these normal ? Should I meet my Dr ??
    pls advice..

    Thanks,
    Priya.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congrats Priya ! :)

      Other than heavy bleeding everything else is normal.

      Delete
  23. Thank you Manju akka :)
    Hope you are doing good !
    Now we both are in the same boat of 3WW..
    Hehe...

    Love,
    Priya

    ReplyDelete
  24. Manju Akka,
    Priya here..
    Pls dont think that I am bugging you with questions..
    I am happy that atleast somebody is there to share things..
    Akka, I am having horrible constipation issue.
    It started just after 12 days post ET and after that only my result came as positive.
    You had this problem ?
    What should we do to avoid this ?
    I am giving pressure to poop bcz otherwise its not working out.
    Will it be harmful for our lil embryos ??
    I am scared !
    Pls advice!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Priya, straining in the toilet will not harm your little ones. Constipation is one of the joys of pregnancy. Increase your intake of fibrous vegetables like banana stem, banana flowers, beans, greens and so on ( hope you are in India) Take lots of sour butter milk ( it contains good bacteria and it helps). If nothing works use magnesium supplement. Ask for magnesium tablets and take 1-3 tablets a day. More magnesium can cause diarrhea. So take the amount which eases your constipation. The ones I take contain 200 mg magnesium in it. I don't know the dosage available elsewhere. Magnesium also prevents uterus contraction, an added benefit.

      Delete
  25. Hi Manju!
    The problem is only Magnesium supplements are not available in India.
    I have also heard that magnesium softens stools. I suffer from constipation usually, even without pregnancy.
    Which brand do you take and how did you purchase it? And are these supplements safe.?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Magnesium is safe. I don't think you can suffer magnesium toxicity Otherwise my doctor wouldn't have prescribed it and would say take as much as you want, until the stool softens. The one I take, I purchase here in Germany, called magnesium verla and contains magnesium citrate and magnesiumbis(hydrogen-L-Glutamate). It is a life saver and it is prevents uterus contraction too. When I was pregnant with twins I took 6 tabs everyday! (200 mg)

      Did you try in medical shops in India? I looked online and biovea in India sells it. http://www.biovea.com/in/mobile/productList.aspx?kw=magnesium

      Hope this info helps!

      Delete
  26. Thanks Manju for sharing that link.
    I will definitely search there

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi Manju!
    How are you and little Anisha?
    I had my 5 day blastocyst transfer today. They transferred 2 blastocyst.
    Please suggest what should I do to maximize success?
    Test is scheduled after 16 days. Don't you think that is too long for a blastocyst transfer? Doctor has advised me to take leave from work for 16 days. That's a long time.
    Shall I avoid tea/coffee totally to get a positive?

    ReplyDelete

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