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Sunday, July 14, 2013

The home pregnancy test showed two lines !


Yes, it is a positive. I saw a positive hpt almost 4 years back, in 2009 January. If that embie had managed to become my baby, my child would have been three and a half years by now. I need to remember that little embie which gave me the strength to hold on to hope and keep trying. I am feeling so calm and serene. No overt emotions are there. After expecting this for a long time, I feel surprisingly numb. I am grateful that I had a positive. I know from now on it is a long journey and I wish I get the strength to face whatever comes my way. Surprisingly, I am not afraid of the future.

I take this opportunity to thank my Dr. I am a very difficult patient to deal with - both scientifically and emotionally. He was always kind and compassionate. He never made me feel that I am stupid or irrational. His team is as wonderful as he is. If you are wondering about the photo above - the colourful Vinayaka is given by Dr. Sai, the embryologist. As soon as I got into the room, to get ready for embryo transfer, he sent this for me. He made me cry but from that time onwards I felt so happy and confident. Thank you Dr. Sai, your good luck charm worked ! The little Vinayaka is my DH's gift. My DH is happy and calm as usual. My mom is excited and I told her that she has to be calm and keep on praying. I believe that her prayers are answered. I want to thank Mr. Ali, Sister Mary and Mr.Vinayak who work in Dr.Malpani's clinic. They said after the transfer - there is a Muslim, Christian and Hindu praying for me (Isn't that sweet ?) . Dr said he will pray for me (Thank you Dr !). I thank Dr. Anjali for being so kind - thank you mam !

I love all my blog readers and I will forever be grateful for all the love, support and prayers I received. Everyone are special in their own way. Ashu, is a medical student who reads my blog and leaves kind comments all the time. I am always very happy that I have a reader like him (he doesn't have anything to do with infertility yet took the pain to read my posts !) I am also thankful to everyone who shared their little one's pictures, conceived via IVF, which gave me so much happiness and hope. Pankaj thank you so much ! Caro, Kavitha, Anjani, Fawzia, Rita, Le, Mamtha, Sherin, Radhika, Ads, San, Nidhi, Mary, Jay, Nushi, Aakanksha.... and lot more of my friends who stood beside me; who shared their happiness and fears; who are kind enough to give me encouraging words when I needed the most eventhough I have never met 99.9 % of them. Many I knew only through my blog....

Another most important person I need to thank  is my boss. He is a very kind human being and made me understand how important is my job during my tough times. He was always pleasant when I asked for holidays for my treatment. I can't thank my friends enough for being so kind, understanding and supportive. Everyone did their best to make us feel good. When I came from India, my friend Priya held my hand and never left it until I wanted to leave. The warmth and compassion in it is so heart-warming. I know that touch helped my embies.This journey has just started, and I know the uncertainty inherent in it. I am holding on to hope and I am accepting today's blessing with utmost humility. My greatest joy is that it will give hope to so many and that is the sole intention for writing this blog.

Once again thank you so much Dr - without you this blog wouldn't have existed and I wouldn't have experienced so much goodness and satisfaction !


Last but not the least - thank you so much my little embies ! Make sure that you don't give up the fight; we have been waiting for you so long now. I need to  have you in my arms (if possible all of you !).


 “Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that? ”

- author unknown

19 comments:

  1. That is fabulous Manju, so happy for you!!!

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  2. how wonderful! congratulations!

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  3. Heartiest Congratulations Manju!!!!

    Anu.

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  4. Dear manju
    many many congrats. I don't why, today I had the same feeling the day I got my wife positive hcg report. I cried the same way. All my best wishes for days to come.
    pankaj khatak

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  5. Wahhh, i am so happy for you, my dear sis.

    No word can describe my emotions now. I pray for you and your little embries. You are doing very well.

    Send you lots of love and hugs.

    Ms Le

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  6. Great news Manju! Very happy for you :). Loads of love!! Anjani

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  7. VERY HAPPY for you dear Manju :-) I will keep on praying for the days to come.

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  8. Hi Manju,
    What a news to start off my day. This gives hopes to people like us who have just started their journey. I am sure your ammma must be on cloud 9.
    The whole of sunday i was thinking what roller coaster of emotions you might be undergoing before HPT. Who knows what is going to happen in the future but for now
    just enjoy the ride...Patience always pay-off.

    Cheers,
    B

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  9. Dear Friends,

    Thank you all for the kindness. I am humbled by all your love and affection. Please keep me in your prayers, its still too early !

    Manju

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  10. Congratulations Manju. Saw this first thing today morning and it made my heart smile! May you stay blessed and may every happiness be yours!

    --Sangeeta

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  11. OOh Manju,

    This is great news! thank you for putting my mind at rest have been waiting anxouisly!. congrats. And u glow throughtout the whole nine months! wow! Thank you God.

    Thank you for sharing and encouraging us. This is awesome news!

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  12. I am in tears of joy....such a wonderful news Manju. I wish the best for you and your embies....may you be blessed with a smooth..blissful..and uneventful pregnancy :) I was out for a week due to studies and glad to hear this news.
    Love,Sherin

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  13. this is awesome! congrats manju. am an avid follower of your blog! thank you for making us stronger and have faith.

    please when u get time, post for us all the sympots u had during the 2ww.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the kind words !

      I agree it feels good to obsess about the symptoms, but nothing can tell us whether we are pregnant or not except a pregnancy test. I tried hard not to make note of how I feel and it helped. I just kept on saying that my embies are safe inside my uterus :) I have done so many IVFs, and BFP or no BFP - I felt the same !

      The only suggestion I have for you is to keep yourself happy as much as possible and believe that your embies are strong enough. I know it is hard and it is still hard for me ! I wonder whether everything is OK and still struggling not to obsess.

      I'm really sorry for not able to help you !

      Love,
      Manju

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  14. Thank you everyone for the love and support, please pray for me !

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  15. Dear Ma'm
    Many many congratulations by heart,Beloved Almighty accepted everyone's prayers,wishing more good luck for future,A salute to you ma'm for your such persistent attitude during this struggle,you deserve a bow,Bravo ! whenever i think of you,it keeps me going through life very confidently,infact you are a great Inspiration for me.Thanks for mention me in your post {but it should be 'reader like Her not Him' coz i am a girl :)} i didn't deserve it,me just a speck of Dust,nothingelse but onething i never forget to do,to pray for you.
    Once again prayers and good wishes from Heart!

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    1. Dearmost Ashu,

      I always thought you are a lad :) I donno why. I am happy to know you are a girl, no, no - woman :)

      Thanks for all the love !

      You are such a wonderful human being. Very kind and empathetic for your age and for sure you will make a great doctor. Be proud of yourself little one. I like people who are proud of themselves yet who doesn't make others feel low in front of them :)

      I am so happy to know you. I had a bleed in the morning and I am so scared. Now everything is fine. Keep me in your prayers.

      Love,
      Manju

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  16. Dear Ma'm,
    Thanks for all lovely kind words,infact i am nothing its just love and blessings of Family and friends,only by that will be a Doc,one day!
    I just love to do things with love by heart,just a bit sympathetic nothingelse.
    Me also very glad to be in contact with such a nice human being,like you.
    Do take a very good care of yourself always.
    With lots of love,wishes and respect...

    Ashu

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