The home pregnancy test showed two lines !

 

Yes, it is a positive. I saw a positive hpt almost 4 years back, in 2009 January. If that embie had managed to become my baby, my child would have been three and a half years by now. I need to remember that little embie which gave me the strength to hold on to hope and keep trying. I am feeling so calm and serene. No overt emotions are there. After expecting this for a long time, I feel surprisingly numb. I am grateful that I had a positive. I know from now on it is a long journey and I wish I get the strength to face whatever comes my way. Surprisingly, I am not afraid of the future.

I take this opportunity to thank my Dr. I am a very difficult patient to deal with - both scientifically and emotionally. He was always kind and compassionate. He never made me feel that I am stupid or irrational. His team is as wonderful as he is. If you are wondering about the photo above - the colourful Vinayaka is given by Dr. Sai, the embryologist. As soon as I got into the room, to get ready for embryo transfer, he sent this for me. He made me cry but from that time onwards I felt so happy and confident. Thank you Dr. Sai, your good luck charm worked ! The little Vinayaka is my DH's gift. My DH is happy and calm as usual. My mom is excited and I told her that she has to be calm and keep on praying. I believe that her prayers are answered. I want to thank Mr. Ali, Sister Mary and Mr.Vinayak who work in Dr.Malpani's clinic. They said after the transfer - there is a Muslim, Christian and Hindu praying for me (Isn't that sweet ?) . Dr said he will pray for me (Thank you Dr !). I thank Dr. Anjali for being so kind - thank you mam !

I love all my blog readers and I will forever be grateful for all the love, support and prayers I received. Everyone are special in their own way. Ashu, is a medical student who reads my blog and leaves kind comments all the time. I am always very happy that I have a reader like him (he doesn't have anything to do with infertility yet took the pain to read my posts !) I am also thankful to everyone who shared their little one's pictures, conceived via IVF, which gave me so much happiness and hope. Pankaj thank you so much ! Caro, Kavitha, Anjani, Fawzia, Rita, Le, Mamtha, Sherin, Radhika, Ads, San, Nidhi, Mary, Jay, Nushi, Aakanksha.... and lot more of my friends who stood beside me; who shared their happiness and fears; who are kind enough to give me encouraging words when I needed the most eventhough I have never met 99.9 % of them. Many I knew only through my blog....

Another most important person I need to thank  is my boss. He is a very kind human being and made me understand how important is my job during my tough times. He was always pleasant when I asked for holidays for my treatment. I can't thank my friends enough for being so kind, understanding and supportive. Everyone did their best to make us feel good. When I came from India, my friend Priya held my hand and never left it until I wanted to leave. The warmth and compassion in it is so heart-warming. I know that touch helped my embies.This journey has just started, and I know the uncertainty inherent in it. I am holding on to hope and I am accepting today's blessing with utmost humility. My greatest joy is that it will give hope to so many and that is the sole intention for writing this blog.

Once again thank you so much Dr - without you this blog wouldn't have existed and I wouldn't have experienced so much goodness and satisfaction !


Last but not the least - thank you so much my little embies ! Make sure that you don't give up the fight; we have been waiting for you so long now. I need to  have you in my arms (if possible all of you !).

 “Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that? ”

- author unknown