Is there a vitamin alternative to laser hatching of Zona pellucida ?

Question # 2

i'm doing an IUI in two days & wanted to know if there is an oral supplement or vitamin or food that will help in naturally thinning (or making less rigid) the outer zona pellucida.  i'm 48 yrs old & want to combat the more rigid ZP that older women have...

i had one IVF last year with assisted hatching (5 eggs retrieved... 4 were viable.... 3 were fertilized & those 3 embryos were implanted) ...but it failed

because i only have two mature follicles this time, my doctor wants to do an IUI, so i was hoping that i could take an oral supplement or vitamin or food that would thin or soften the outer layer of the zona pellucida (because it's probably more rigid since i'm 48 years old) since laser-hatching is not an option.

i don't have children because i'm the youngest of 9 children so my parents were both elderly when i was born & i had to take care of them after they had strokes (they both had high blood pressure) & so i delayed having children.  my boyfriend & i have tried to conceive over the past two years but without success.  hopefully this upcoming IUI will be successful.

Answer : 

Unfortunately , nothing can be done to reverse the aging of your eggs - you cannot thin it's outer covering with any vitamins.

I wish you lots of good luck. That's so nice of you to put your parents' needs first and supporting them. I love your optimism , and may your wish get fulfilled soon.

Although , I answered carefully in a way which doesn't hurt her hope and optimism , I felt guilty for not telling her the truth.

The chance of her getting pregnant and having a healthy baby with her own eggs is almost close to zero. I am sure she is aware of the scientific statistics , yet , she is trying her level best to fight the odds. Women like her amaze me. I wonder what I would have done if I were in her shoes !  What's the right move for a woman in her situation ? Should they move on to donor eggs , or try conceiving with their own eggs - until they produce eggs and embryos ?

According to scientific data , women after the age of 42 , have only 5 % chance ( perhaps , even less ! ) of taking home a healthy baby. After 45 , the chance of having a healthy baby with their own eggs is almost nil. Even though they produce eggs ,  the chance that all their eggs are genetically abnormal is extremely high.

Reference : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25017405

But , what if ,  a woman after 45 years old luckily finds that one good embryo which will become her much desired baby ? Such happenings are not unheard of . Please read this article : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26327892

This is exactly why  you must trust your gut feeling when deciding whether to continue IVF with your own eggs or to call it quits. Apart from considering financial , physical and emotional discomforts , please listen to your gut feeling too and decide for yourself.

But , if someone asks my opinion , as a biologist , as a person who values scientific evidence , I would say it is insane to continue with your own eggs if you are above 45 years. But , always remember , that there are a lucky few who have beat all the odds ! If your gut feeling says you could be one too , give IVF with your own eggs a few tries.

Please read the disclaimer at the top right corner of this blog !

If you need to talk to me , write to me to manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com

Can a high white blood cell count prevent embryo implantation ?

Question # 1

Would a high white blood count of 13500 stop implantation.  No symptoms of being sick however my wbc has been high for months.  I have ulcerative colitis but take humira and have no current symptoms.  I have three failed ivf attempts and one failed donor egg cycle all bfn

Answer :

My very confident answer is 'No'. 

Uterus lining , where the embryo implants ( decidua ) , is an immunologically privileged site. It means , the immune system doesn't do the actual function what it is intended for , in those sites. Even though ,  the trophoblast cells and the placenta carry antigens ( foreign molecules ) which are disparate to mother's immune system they are not attacked by the mother's immune cells. Since decidua is an immunologically privileged site , the immune system's usual reaction ( to attack foreign antigens ) is turned off ( by the secretions of the embryo ) and hence the immune cells doesn't hurt the embryo. Even in healthy pregnancies , the WBC count increases in your circulatory system. In other words , pregnancy can lead to an increased WBC in blood without any negative consequences to the developing fetus.

The success rate of an IVF cycle is not 100% , even with donor embryos. Sixty percent of women who are within 35 years of age , and who have good ovarian reserve  get pregnant within 3 IVF cycles ( not within 3 IVF transfers ! ) It is very natural to think that something is wrong with your body ( especially , the uterus ) when an IVF cycle fails. But the truth is , in 99% of the cases nothing is wrong . Not every embryo have the potential to implant and give rise to a healthy baby ( because of genetic defects in the embryo ) . We are still faraway from having a foolproof ART technology which could pin point which embryo will become a healthy baby. 

You just have to repeat your IVF cycle with donor embryos until you find success. Make sure that you are with a good IVF clinic which has high success rate.

Good luck !

Manju

Please read the disclaimer at the top right corner of this blog !

If you need to talk to me , write to me to manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com

Bliss

Yesterday , I received an email from one of my blog reader , my friend. She is now the mother to two beautiful kids ( twins ). She has struggled hard with infertility for years - she deserves the happiness she is now experiencing. She is such a nice person ; she is very kind enough to inform me when she was pregnant , many don't do so. She sent me the pictures of her children yesterday , and that made my day. There are so many women who write to me , but I never hear from them once they succeed - on my bad days , it just hurts.  I have watched the picture she sent me so many times now - the happiness in her face , the beauty in her children's face was amazing. 'A' , I wish you lots of happiness - happy motherhood ! You are one beautiful soul I met via my blog , and thanks for being so kind and compassionate.

Almost every woman whom I have met through my blog has attained their most beautiful dream - motherhood ! There are many ways to motherhood - adoption , IVF , IUI, donor eggs , surrogacy , donor embryos , the list is endless ! We must be thankful that we live in this age of easy information access , and in a age where science and technology are rapidly advancing and the benefits of it are available to us. I sincerely hope it becomes affordable for everyone too.

Long , long back I posted something here. I hope I could write more in the coming days. Anisha is doing good - couldn't believe that she is one year old already ! :)

Hope everyone of you are doing good. Good luck !

How lack of knowledge about infertility treatments can deny you the baby you need most !

This is an email I received from one of my blog reader. It is a privilege to receive emails from women whom I don't know personally - they open their heart and soul to me ! I am humbled by the fact that I am gifted to act as their confidante , their sounding board.

This email bares the heart of a woman who struggled to have a baby - but unfortunately who is not successful ! She nails the fact - how lack of knowledge about her own fertility ( or infertility ) and lack of money, prevented her from having the baby she most desired.

Although, there's a lot of self-pity in her emails, she is also very intelligent - she has understood clearly what deterred her from having a baby. This letter must be read by women struggling with infertility - not all wisdom have to be gained from your personal experience ! You can learn a lot from others' failure stories rather than success stories - that's why failure stories are precious when going through infertility !

I would be publishing more of patient queries and stories, hereafter. I would be happy to publish your success or failure stories, too. Please do write to me : manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com. I will not be revealing any of your personal details in my blog, you will remain anonymous - if you want to be so ! By sharing your story, you are sharing your knowledge and wisdom with many fellow women who are in need of knowledge, support and inspiration. So, please come forward to do so. 

Do leave your valuable comments, it helps a lot, too !

Hi Manju,

I know you are very busy with your baby Anisha.  I wish and your family best of luck.  Manju, I read your blogs very ofthen. Today I have read about how your education and your profession helped you a lot in your pursuit to ahve a baby and solve your infertility problem.  Ane you know, I am unlucky that during my school days I was not interested in science subjects.  I was such a fool that even after my marriage I did not know what is ovulation.  It is not that I was illiterate but that nobody talks to me about sex and and infertility.  I used to hear that God gives child to married couples and children born before marriage are illegal children.  When I faced the infertility problem I did not know which doctor to see.  What to ask the doctors?  And now I have learned so many things That I talked only of IVF and the procedure.  And I tell fertile couples that if IVF would have not have been expensive I would ask every fertile couple to try it at least once in their life to know what IVF is.  Even though I don't have a baby in lap, I have known what is pregnancy although for a little while.  Nobody can understand what I have undergone. How painful my journey of infertility was!  From zero knowledge of infertility I am now full of knowledge.  I read your blogs and I laugh  at my stupidity.  I wanted to be a good mother, to give my knowledge and to share my experience to my offspring.  I can not blame anyone nor can I say that God did not give the time to solve my infertility.  If only the government of my country would have thought about infertile couples in our country all the women of my age would not have suffered for a child of their own.  We infertile couples of our country have spent a lot but still our government is not talking about IVF to be introduced in our public hospitals.  We live in a country where education is free, health is free,  transport is free for students and old aged persons and our welfare state provided so much facilities to needy people. Old aged pensions, subsidies on Gas and what not do we get but no seriousness about infertile couple.  In the year 1972, the government introduced the Family Planning to control birth and the result is that nowadays they are talking of increasing population because we lack people in country.  By the year 2050 we will be have more old aged population than working population.  So, it will be a major problem to provide those people with old aged pensions.  You might be thinking why I am telling you all these.  Yes,  because I know how difficult it is to look for money to spend on infertility.  I stood alone to struggle this problem in my life and today I am back to square number one.  I could not raise my standard of living due to this problem.  I did not have the courage to adopt a child fearing of society and perhaps my greatest desire was to see my own genes.  Ever since I am married, I have found myself talking to myself.  I am always happy for couples who enjoy the happiness of their own child in their laps after having struggled so much.  There was a teacher of mine who got his baby girl after twenty years of marriage and he told me that it was the fruit of his prayer and now he prays a lot.  He even has a mandir built by him where he goes to pray morning and evening.  One day he told me that his infertility was due to his low count of sperm.  I have seen so many miracles happening.  IVF itself is a great miracle by Dr Edwards and Steptoe.  Had they not discovered this, so many infertile couples would not have been happy nowadays.  My infertility was due to high level of testosterone, endometriosis and blocked tube due to endometriosis.  All these I was not told by doctors, I discovered them on my own by reading and research and by doing blood tests. I don't understand why I am telling you all this.  Perhaps I am on holidays, idle and thinking and regretting my past.  Loneliness teaches you a lot.  Loneliness makes one realised how busy others are.  Once I had cursed myself with my jinxed tongue that "...........what if I come to be infertile?"  At that time I was only 20yrs old, not yet married.  Now I think well before talking.  I don't want to hurt anyone with my words.  There is nothing in life pleasant for an infertile lady.  There is nobody around her.  She is surrounded with memories and heartcries.  However hard I try to say let bygones by bygones yet I cannot forget how many times my private parts have been seen by different doctors.  Sorry.........................................

Pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day

An angel, in the book of life , wrote down my babies birth , then whispered as she closed the book ,

  Too beautiful for earth !

Yes, perhaps my little ones were too beautiful for this world. It is going to be two years since I lost them. Although, Anisha's presence has eased the horror and pain of losing my children, the scar still remains. The more I get to know Anisha , more I miss my twin's presence. These two pairs of beautiful feet will never walk in this world, but they will walk in my heart and mind until I am gone. If I am given one more chance to relive November 5th, 2013, I would love to hug and kiss them, feel their warmth, and show them with my touch and presence how much I love them !

I heard the below story somewhere when I was little. Once a person met Buddha and asked for his blessings. Buddha said, let your grandparents die, then your parents, then you and then your children. The man got very angry on hearing this. Buddha smiled and said, I have given you the best blessing , just imagine how your life will be if death happens in the reverse order of what I just said ! How true those words are ! The pain of seeing young buds wither is never easy. That's the most cruel pain anyone could endure. When a young bud shrivels and is gone , it crushes one's hope and faith in life and living. My heart goes out to all the strong moms who had to go through pregnancy and/or infant loss. If you have survived it, you can survive almost anything in this world. You must be proud of yourself for being so strong and brave !

On this day, I want to say two things. The first is, if you are pursuing IVF, please opt for single embryo transfer. Multiple pregnancy carries many unpleasant risks. The pain of not conceiving is several times easier to deal with when compared to the pain of losing your precious little ones. With the improvement in embryo culture techniques, single embryo transfer has very good success rates, too.

The second thing is, we are very, very grateful to have Anisha in our life. After all that happened, there was every possibility of Anisha not happening in our lives, yet, she is here, happy and healthy. So, after pregnancy or infant loss, there is very high chance of having a rainbow baby in your life. Just don't give up ! Be persistent in your efforts. Have an open mind and try to explore all the different options which science offers, before giving up.

I just wish I will have my son back too in our lives someday :)

Meet The Doctor Who Is Empowering Patients And Bridging The Doctor-Patient Gap

http://www.thebetterindia.com/12671/meet-doctor-empowering-patients/

Anisha is six months old !

Anisha is six months old, going to be seven soon. This month, she has reached some great developmental milestones. She hasn't started to crawl yet. I think she is a bit lazy, like me. She is happy to be in our hands and expects us to do what she wants - to pick her toys and keep it near her, and so on. In this way, she doesn't have to do much of the moving. But yes, she does try to get moving when lying down. She raises her front and back, and then instead of moving forward she moves backwards a couple of steps :) I think, soon she will be crawling and I have to run behind her. I can't wait for that day.

She has started to take solid foods, but, still her main nutrition is mother's milk. I give her almost everything - from idly to meat and liver. She doesn't prefer fruits, anything sweet makes her to gag.

I think, I have an angry little one. When she wants to say no to food, once her stomach gets full, she grunts. That means I must stop feeding. This grunting applies to many other things too. It just means - "stop that, won't you !"

She has started to talk - I mean, to babble. It feels like she is talking. When she gets up early in the morning (at 4'o clock) and start to babble and play, believe me, my heart just melts, however tired I may be. Now, when watching rhymes, she babbles with it too.

Her dad is her playmate, a person who appears too funny. Whatever he does, she giggles, giggles and giggles. Even if he bends, that's something very amusing for her. She eagerly waits for her dad's arrival from work.

I am her love. Or, I wonder, whether she is afraid of someone stealing her milk when she is away from me ;) She wants to be in my hands all the time, and this behavior is more pronounced in the evenings. Even if she is in her dad's hand, if she sees me entering the room, she wants to come to me. How good it feels to be someone's priority !

Her fear of strangers is still there. This weekend, she cried and cried when one of our friends picked her up. I am happy in a way. As she grows, I don't want that she goes to strangers, I don't want that everyone holds her. 

That's how Anisha is nowadays.

I agree, I haven't done much justice to my blog. But, I am working on something else whenever I find time, I will soon let you know about it. It's all about infertility support ! And, I need all your support for that.

I hope, I am not hurting anyone by talking much about motherhood.  You will all understand my joy and ecstasy if you know my journey to get Anisha. And moreover, when I lost my twins, I hopped from blog to blog looking for little ones' pictures, especially IVF or surrogacy baby pictures, to find some hope. That helped me to keep my faith strong. I hope Anisha's pictures does help some of you in a similar way.

I do reply to e-mails. Please do write to me if you have any questions; answering your queries keeps me happy too when I feel really worthless and depressed. 

Love,
Manju