An angel, in the book of life , wrote down my babies birth , then whispered as she closed the book ,
Too beautiful for earth !
Yes, perhaps my little ones were too beautiful for this world. It is going to be two years since I lost them. Although, Anisha's presence has eased the horror and pain of losing my children, the scar still remains. The more I get to know Anisha , more I miss my twin's presence. These two pairs of beautiful feet will never walk in this world, but they will walk in my heart and mind until I am gone. If I am given one more chance to relive November 5th, 2013, I would love to hug and kiss them, feel their warmth, and show them with my touch and presence how much I love them !
I heard the below story somewhere when I was little. Once a person met Buddha and asked for his blessings. Buddha said, let your grandparents die, then your parents, then you and then your children. The man got very angry on hearing this. Buddha smiled and said, I have given you the best blessing , just imagine how your life will be if death happens in the reverse order of what I just said ! How true those words are ! The pain of seeing young buds wither is never easy. That's the most cruel pain anyone could endure. When a young bud shrivels and is gone , it crushes one's hope and faith in life and living. My heart goes out to all the strong moms who had to go through pregnancy and/or infant loss. If you have survived it, you can survive almost anything in this world. You must be proud of yourself for being so strong and brave !
On this day, I want to say two things. The first is, if you are pursuing IVF, please opt for single embryo transfer. Multiple pregnancy carries many unpleasant risks. The pain of not conceiving is several times easier to deal with when compared to the pain of losing your precious little ones. With the improvement in embryo culture techniques, single embryo transfer has very good success rates, too.
The second thing is, we are very, very grateful to have Anisha in our life. After all that happened, there was every possibility of Anisha not happening in our lives, yet, she is here, happy and healthy. So, after pregnancy or infant loss, there is very high chance of having a rainbow baby in your life. Just don't give up ! Be persistent in your efforts. Have an open mind and try to explore all the different options which science offers, before giving up.
I just wish I will have my son back too in our lives someday :)
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