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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

NT scan at 12w6d

Today, I had my NT (Nuchal Translucency) scan. Everything looked fine. The embryos which are transferred to me during this successful FET were collected from my ovaries when I am 33 years old. The risks for trisomy 21 (Down syndrome) for a 33 year old woman is 1:369 but after NT scan my risk fell down to 1:2686 (for both fetus). The risk for trisomy 18 is 1:905 but after the scan it was 1:2741(for fetus 1 and 2) and the risk for trisomy 13 reduced from 1:2837 to 1:20238 (for fetus 1 and 2).The nuchal fold measurement for fetus 1 is 1.5 and for fetus 2 it is 1.2. Hence the possibility for much prevalent genetic risks (aueuploidies) seems to be extremely low.  I don't need aminocentesis or chorionic villus sampling (CVS). It is such a relief ! The babies measured 6.37 and 6.5 cms.
 
My today's experience with those prenatal diagnostic people was not pleasant. The lady (a doctor!) who came in to take measurement of our babies was not at all compassionate. She didn't explain anything, kept on doing her job, made sounds of impatience when our babies are moving around and for me it appeared as if something was wrong with the babies. The whole scenario is like watching a horror movie. I could see my DH panic and suffer. I really wanted to get up and walk away. I regretted my decision to go to them. She went out of the scanning room every few minutes leaving me lying like that, she attended her cell phone every few minutes and it took almost one and an half hour until all the measurements are complete. I do not understand how doctors could do their job so mechanically. I didn't expect too much from her, I just needed a smile, a kind word, just an assurance that my babies are OK. What would have happened if I have got up, told her that this is not the way to treat patients and walked away? Doesn't it hurt her? Won't her entire day be spoiled? I was thinking why I am not doing that. The only answer is, I don't want to be rude. I am not afraid and there is nothing to be afraid of ! My gynecologist is such a kind woman and I am really thankful to her.
 
I had so many different emotions before this scan. What will I do if one our babies are diagnosed with some genetic defect? "Never give up my little ones, whatever you are I will take care of you", this is the promise I give my babies all the time. If one of them was diagnosed with some unfortunate defect, would I have decided to end its life? Even my imagination hurts. Am I an emotional fool? Do children with genetic defects have poor life quality? By bringing a genetically defective child to this world are parents doing harm to that soul?  Why do we all crave for perfection ? Doesn't this society need all kinds of humans - how will we learn to be grateful, kind and empathetic without the so-called 'less than perfect' humans ? As parents, if we desire only perfect children, then why to talk about the greatness of motherhood or parenthood? Will I be able to accept a child with a defect whole-heartedly? If I say that I will accept any baby, then why the hell I had this scan! I have no answers for many questions that keep haunting me. I would be thankful if some of you could share your views on this.
 
I am thankful to everyone and everything around me. Lying there, I was thinking about God, I wanted to believe Him and I asked Him to keep my babies healthy. More relationships I build, more is the need of God in my life! The only times I go and stand before God is to ask Him to help my loved ones. Now, with these two lives growing within me, whom I will love to pieces until my demise (and even beyond perhaps!), I have no other option than to catch hold of God (Who are you ?) very tightly! :)
 
Thank you so much everyone and good luck to all of you who are in your 2ww!

21 comments:

  1. Ur almost 13 weeks....uffffff....I am so happy for u guys :) don't over think on how the doctor treated you. After all being compassionate and empathetic is not taught in their curriculum!
    Accepting the way our life fares out is what we usually do....we may regret it sometimes...be grateful about it at times...be awed by our strength at times...but mostly we learn to accept it. Just like you learnt to accept your infertility....rejoice in ur pregnancy Manju...ur blue days are soo soo over :)

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    1. Thank you Zeus and you are right :)

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  2. Manju,
    I am so happy for you. You have been through so much and am so glad that tide is finally turning for you. I am going through an equally tough situation with 3 miscarriages to date from 3 FETs and another fresh cycle coming up. Your strength, humility, critical thinking and above all positive spirit has truly been an inspiration to me to be stronger and to not give up hope.
    Will keep you and your babies in my prayers.

    C.

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    1. Dear C,

      (((Hugs)))

      I know how much it pains to have a m/c, especially, after going through such a tough ordeal. I wish you lots of good luck and hope you succeed very soon.

      Can I ask you some questions ? How old are you ? What is the reason for IVF ? Is your AMH normal ? Do you have PCOD ? What is your BMI ? Is your TSH normal ? Perhaps these questions might help you understand what might be the reason for 3 m/cs or it is just ill-fate ! If you would like to please mail me. manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com.

      I am happy that my blog helps you to stay stronger. Thank you so much ! My love and prayers to you.

      Manju



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  3. There are people of all kinds , do not allow such people to disturb your life.
    Be happy and enjoy your pregnancy , think of so many others round the globe who are your true well wishers and you will soon forget this untoward experience.

    Love,
    Anu.

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    1. Anu, thanks ! I am thinking of you and lots of good luck ! Keep your cool :)

      Manju

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  4. Hi Manju,

    First of all, congratulations on your persistence on ivf road and more importantly, on your twins.
    I didn't read your blog from the beginning, but I came across you mentioning hla matches...did you test for them (I don't mean only dq alpha but the whole panel)? If yes, what was the result?
    I thank you for the answer in advance and wish you uneventful rest of the pregnancy!
    Sara

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    1. Dear Sara,

      Thank you and could you please read my recent post. I don't remember exactly what they tested. I have to get my results amidst a bundle of papers :) Will do so soon and let you know.

      Manju

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    2. So here are my results for HLA matching :

      Me

      HLA-A - 01,03
      HLA-B - 15, 35

      My DH

      HLA-A - 01,03
      HLA-B - 15.40

      We have an exact match for HLA-A, this means our offsprings have the same HLA-A as me :)

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  5. I read the post. I have to tell you that I know several cases who had 6 hla matches and were nor able to get pregnant or sustain the pregnancy. However, they used neupogen and became mothers. Since you are a scientist, you might be interested to read the website of the reproductive immunologist dr. Jeffery Braverman who was a dr of those ladies.

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    1. Thanks for the info ! Can you enlighten me how neupogen helps women who have HLA matches with their partners to get pregnant ? Neupogen is G-CSF, it is a cytokine and a hormone and is produced by immune cells. It is naturally produced in our body and ofcourse during pregnancy too. How do you think providing our body with extra G-CSF helps? I will defintely go through what Dr. Braverman says. But I personally do not believe it because they could not prove such therapies with sound scientific evidence.

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  6. Dear Ma'm
    On all this,i just want to say one thing,this is like a beautiful Dream comes true to be blessed with twins,after a long struggle.But this Dream turned in to reality because of your Great PERSISTENCE,that even inspires others as well as me.
    Don't worry about anything,everything is going to be very fine.Almighty's kind blessings and our heartfelt prayers are always with you and your babies,believe me this pair of cute babies,is really lucky,as they are blessed by such an Angel Mother.
    More good luck to you,be happy stay blessed !
    Ashu.

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  7. Dr. Braverman's explanation will be more detailed but I will just tell you that neupogen suppresses the immune system that could attack the embryo. Those hla matches could indeed be a culprit in some cases. I know couples who were infertile, got divorced and both got kids from the new spouses.

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  8. I did visit Dr. Braverman's page. The first thing I wanted to see is his publication on the field of "reproductive immunology" and I didn't find any. Are you aware of his scientific publications ?

    Now scientific world is split into two. For example, there are people who believe in God and when they get some health problems seek proper medical therapy and strongly hold on to God to give them emotional support. As long as their illness could be managed by medical science and as long as they stay strong with the help of "concept of God" or some other spiritual practice, they come out successfully. There are other group of people who believe in God-man and their super powers. Some believe in witch craft too. When they face ill health or if their illness cannot be cured by "evidence-based" medicine they turn to look for miracles. Some ultimately succeed in finding cure using such "therapies" and some not. Remember, there is always a placebo effect which no one can explain. It doesn't mean miracles created by God- man or witch craft helped them to achieve a cure! Yesterday one of my friend was talking about her grandmother who was infertile for 13 years (at those times the field of infertility is in its infancy) and then had 5 children. This happened without any medical treatment and when you ask such older women, they attribute their success to some spiritual practice they followed!
    Ultimately what I wanted to say is, in scientific world today there are people who believe in evidence-based” therapy and go to physicians who follow sound medical practice. There are physicians like "God-man" or people who practice "witch-craft". It is upto patients to follow whatever they like or comfortable with. But it is always wise not to follow unscientific practices (therapies which do not have strong scientific proof or explanation!). There is no guarantee you will find success with such therapies and there is also the danger of losing your money, time, energy and peace of mind!

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  9. Its a great benchmark to be at isn't it! :)

    You know, I was nervous before the NT scan too...asking myself all these questions about what I would do if something was wrong. And the answer was pretty simple...I love this little one and was going to have him/her no matter what. So while I'm glad the test results came back fine, it did calm my nerves to know that DH and I were on the same page irrespective of how this kid comes out.

    So glad to hear that you and twins are doing fine. I ask God to keep you and your babies healthy everyday.

    Nushi

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    1. Nushi, thank you sooooooo very much ! :) Hope your little one is doing well and my prayers and good wishes are with your family.

      Love,
      Manju

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  10. There is the whole section about hla and how to be treated on his website. Plus, within 2 months there will be new information how much neupogen should be used on each person who has this problem.
    As for the old lady, at those times girls used to get married early and perhaps many things were disrupted or harmed by early marriage consumation. Also, some women have problems with hormones that settle down later and they manage to achieve pregnancy.
    My belief is that God comes first and then science because God did direct us to seek knowledge. So hopefully, I will be in your shoes soon:)
    Good luck and I will be reading your blog:)

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    1. Dear Anonymous,

      Please do not take our discussions too personally ! I am sure you will realize your dream soon and lots of good luck for that.

      I have a different view point on a subject and you have a different view point. It is just a healthy arguement and let us agree to disagree ! :)

      Coming back to the point, anyone can write anything on their website ! Just because Dr. Bravermann writes about HLA and Neupogen in his website it doesn't mean it is based on sound scientific evidence. I need to see authentic scientific publications, which means, studies conducted according to sound scientific practice, reviwed by a panel of experts and accepted by scientists to be published in a reputed journal (not any third rate journals which publish all the crap !)

      I loved your reasoning power when you rightly caught hold of the fact that early marriage consumption might be the reason. You didn't put God first here.

      God doesn't come first. Knowledge and wisdom should come first. If God exists it is impossible to take personal care of billions of people ! He gave them knowledge and it is their responsibility to use that knowledge to analyze which is good or bad, rational or irrational. God will help people who help themselves !

      I am so happy to know you and please keep reading my blog. If it helps you 1% I will be happy. You can also write to me when you need.

      And one more thing, I don't know your age or your problem. But if you are of advanced maternal age and strugglig hard to get pregnant, I don't think HLA matching can be the reason for your failure. Remember, the only deciding factor in IVF success is the egg quality and it diminishes with age. But even at 40 it is not impossible to find that single good egg and I wish you all the luck in the world !

      Love,
      Manju

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  11. Congratulations on the excellent results of your NT scan! I know how nerve-wracking it is to be scanned by a sonographer who is quiet and focused and not reassuring you. She was probably being serious about her job.

    As for your question, I have also thought about the "what ifs". It depends on the type of defects I suppose. There are some rare ones which would cause death or terrible suffering. As a parent, we are responsible for bringing another human into this world and personally I would rather not if the defect is too serious. The world is not exactly a kind place and when I grow old, Im not sure who can take care of a child who can't survive on his own. But if the defect is minor, I will love my child all the same..

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  12. This is a very thoughtful and rational answer, thank you so much Ariel !

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