ET was scheduled to 4 PM today. It’s very hard to explain
how I feel. My mom left to my native place yesterday. I feel heartbroken without her
presence. DH had a hard time controlling my crying spells. I am in the grip of
all sorts of blues now. I am excited and at the same time very scared. The
result of all the toil will be out in two weeks. Why can’t someone make me to
go into coma for two weeks? When I see my DH I feel very sorry for him. I am
solely responsible for all the troubles he endures now. All this uncertainty,
tension,travelling…….everything is because of me. I am very lucky to have him
in my life. If he is not this understanding what would have happened to me? I
feel I have a lot to vent. I am depressed probably because of progesterone. I
wish I could go back to work so that I can distract myself. I am also dreading
thinking about today and tomorrow. I do not believe in rest after ET but my DH
will be very upset if I roam around. I have to lie down or sit all the time
without doing anything and that is a big torture!
Inspite of all these thoughts, I feel very happy
when I see my blasties. I hope they will wake up from their cold sleep happily
without loosing any cells, snuggle within me tight and speak with my not so
great endometrium for establishing connections. Let the cross-talk between my
blasties and endometrium be successful! If someone reads this post send me some
positive vibes. I will be very grateful. I am uploading my blastocyst pictures.
Don’t they look beautiful? One day we saw a very cute little girl and I said to
my DH ‘our child will look as beautiful as this littleone’. He said, ofcourse
yes! Our blastocyts look very beautiful so definitely our child will look beautiful
too :) These kind of small, sweet nothing talks, keeps us going!
ET was scheduled to 
