Reason for the genesis of this blog!

Why I wanted to write this blog? There are several reasons. I love writing. I can express my emotions in a better way when I write. After going through infertility for five long years, I am tired. I just need a change. My life has become too routine. All these five years I am foccused on only one thing- MY BABY. Not even a single day passes by without thinking about him/her. The beauty is, my baby doesn't have a LIFE still. But before it can acquire a life the little one has everything it needs- wonderful parents, a beautiful name and more than anything else lots and lots of LOVE. Sometimes I think what kind of insanity is this? You can live by thinking about someone who is alive or dead but can you live by thinking about someone who is not yet born. I am a living example and there are many women like me. I just want to reach out to them. I want to share my infertility experiences and the knowledge I gained during this journey. Only a person going through infertility can understand how painful it is! Getting in touch with women who are in  similar situation like me will give me immense support and strength. This will help me to remain sane and confident. I do not know what I can contribute through this blog, but I am sure it will bring about a positive change in my life.

I always wanted to write this blog. But I had many inhibitions in my mind. Will I be able to spend time for this? Am I efficient enough to write about my infertility in a rational way? Won't it be more nicer if I win this infertility battle first, and then write about it? With all these questions in mind, I postponed my urge to write. But all these changed because of another blog (blogger!) which I read more often. To tell the truth, that blog gave me lots of confidence. When I suffer emotionally, I open that blog and read some posts written by the infertility specialist. Yes, it's a doctor's blog and it's my doctor's blog! You may think, because he is the infertility specialist I am getting treatment from I am giving undue importance to it, or I am attempting to please him in order to get better care. Definitely not! If you are a woman suffering with infertility there are lots of possibility that you know him already. I am taking about Dr. Aniruddha Malpani and his blog. I think every woman undergoing infertility should read his blog posts. You can get immense intellectual and emotional support from it. The best thing about his writing is, he really puts himself in his patient's shoes. I always wonder how could a doctor empathize so much with his patients!  It just shows the passion he has for the work he does. I did my last IVF with him. I met him perhaps thrice during my treatment. Had very few things to talk with him because I am a graduate  in IVF treatment, (I have already done 5 IVFs, great or ;) ) so didn't have much to talk about the treatment as such, and I am very afraid to talk anything else which is beyond the scope of the treatment (Will I spoil his valuable time?). I mail him whenever I have some doubts, and he replies very promptly. I have many things to say about him which I will talk later. Now, I just wanted to say that he is one of the most important person for the genesis of my blog. He wrote 'I do wish you'd keep a blog - this will help you let out your bottled emotions in a constructive fashion. Keeping a journal has been proven to help patients cope better - and helping others is the best way of helping yourself !' Thank you Doctor! The interesting part is, he did not know to whom he said this ( I donno whether he guessed that it is me !) since I used to comment in his blog as an anonymous! But he did know that the anonymous commenter is one of his patient :)

Whatelse I have to say, hmmm perhaps a bit about me : I am emotional, loving, intuitive, imaginative, shrewd, cautious, protective and sympathetic.  My darker side : Constantly changing, moody, over-emotional, touchy, clingy, and unable to let go. This is what they say about cancerian traits and it applies 100% to me!  I want to write a lot about many other things apart from my (in)fertility journey. Wish me good luck and with this note I start my blogging journey. Happy blogging! :)