It's a negative again! At this moment so
many different thoughts are running in my mind but "This too will
pass". Thank you for each and every wonderful person who prayed for me and
did their best to keep me happy. Only all your kindness, keeps me going.
It is hard, I did
cry but I did feel peaceful within me after knowing for sure this is what it
is. I haven't told my mom yet. I am
gathering courage so that I can tell her without crying. Obviously she will
tolerate the negative but not my sadness. I have let so many people down.
I might have also shattered many of your dreams. I have a friend who is
also going through this. She told me 'Manju, if you get success it will give me
lots of confidence to carry on'. Sorry! I know many people like her would have
looked at my posts in search of some inspiration. Please remember-our baby
making machinery is not so effective! Even couples without any problems need
few months to a year to conceive. Do not take me as an example. I can show so
many people who conceive with IVF/FET. There are so many people who conceive with a thin endometrium. Might be, I am just an exception who needs to fight a
bit hard. I am not going to give up and every failure makes me stronger! I have
5 more frozen embryos. So hopefully when we are ready we will start the process
all over again. My DH is calm and composed as always. I sometimes wish he
breaks down as I do - so that he will not accumulate the stress inside.
I
still think my blasties looked so good and competent. I failed to provide
them the best : ( I just wish I accumulate enough patience, perseverance and persistence to go on with this process. As Winston Churcill said :
Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
Take care everyone! How much I wished I could put a picture of postive HPT in this post!!!! : (
I'm very sorry it did not work out. This is such a difficult road to walk on. It's good to be as strong as you are, the key is persistence, I guess, and tactical smarts, you are in good hands there.
ReplyDeleteOh no, I am so sorry for you that it did not work...I share your sadness and hope you have a lot of good things to do these coming days to keep your mind positively busy. From small Belgium, I think about you and send you plenty of courage... Don't give up Manju. Take care, Caroline
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Jay : ) Your comforting words did help me a lot!
ReplyDeleteCaroline, thank you very much! Your words mean a lot. Internet is a boon and I am so happy to connect with someone from another part of the world. I won't give up Caroline. Keep in touch : )