This is an email I received from one of my blog reader. It is a privilege to receive emails from women whom I don't know personally - they open their heart and soul to me ! I am humbled by the fact that I am gifted to act as their confidante , their sounding board.
This email bares the heart of a woman who struggled to have a baby - but unfortunately who is not successful ! She nails the fact - how lack of knowledge about her own fertility ( or infertility ) and lack of money, prevented her from having the baby she most desired.
Although, there's a lot of self-pity in her emails, she is also very intelligent - she has understood clearly what deterred her from having a baby. This letter must be read by women struggling with infertility - not all wisdom have to be gained from your personal experience ! You can learn a lot from others' failure stories rather than success stories - that's why failure stories are precious when going through infertility !
I would be publishing more of patient queries and stories, hereafter. I would be happy to publish your success or failure stories, too. Please do write to me : manjupadmasekar@yahoo.com. I will not be revealing any of your personal details in my blog, you will remain anonymous - if you want to be so ! By sharing your story, you are sharing your knowledge and wisdom with many fellow women who are in need of knowledge, support and inspiration. So, please come forward to do so.
Do leave your valuable comments, it helps a lot, too !
Hi Manju,
I know you are very busy with your baby Anisha. I wish and your family best of luck. Manju, I read your blogs very ofthen. Today I have read about how your education and your profession helped you a lot in your pursuit to ahve a baby and solve your infertility problem. Ane you know, I am unlucky that during my school days I was not interested in science subjects. I was such a fool that even after my marriage I did not know what is ovulation. It is not that I was illiterate but that nobody talks to me about sex and and infertility. I used to hear that God gives child to married couples and children born before marriage are illegal children. When I faced the infertility problem I did not know which doctor to see. What to ask the doctors? And now I have learned so many things That I talked only of IVF and the procedure. And I tell fertile couples that if IVF would have not have been expensive I would ask every fertile couple to try it at least once in their life to know what IVF is. Even though I don't have a baby in lap, I have known what is pregnancy although for a little while. Nobody can understand what I have undergone. How painful my journey of infertility was! From zero knowledge of infertility I am now full of knowledge. I read your blogs and I laugh at my stupidity. I wanted to be a good mother, to give my knowledge and to share my experience to my offspring. I can not blame anyone nor can I say that God did not give the time to solve my infertility. If only the government of my country would have thought about infertile couples in our country all the women of my age would not have suffered for a child of their own. We infertile couples of our country have spent a lot but still our government is not talking about IVF to be introduced in our public hospitals. We live in a country where education is free, health is free, transport is free for students and old aged persons and our welfare state provided so much facilities to needy people. Old aged pensions, subsidies on Gas and what not do we get but no seriousness about infertile couple. In the year 1972, the government introduced the Family Planning to control birth and the result is that nowadays they are talking of increasing population because we lack people in country. By the year 2050 we will be have more old aged population than working population. So, it will be a major problem to provide those people with old aged pensions. You might be thinking why I am telling you all these. Yes, because I know how difficult it is to look for money to spend on infertility. I stood alone to struggle this problem in my life and today I am back to square number one. I could not raise my standard of living due to this problem. I did not have the courage to adopt a child fearing of society and perhaps my greatest desire was to see my own genes. Ever since I am married, I have found myself talking to myself. I am always happy for couples who enjoy the happiness of their own child in their laps after having struggled so much. There was a teacher of mine who got his baby girl after twenty years of marriage and he told me that it was the fruit of his prayer and now he prays a lot. He even has a mandir built by him where he goes to pray morning and evening. One day he told me that his infertility was due to his low count of sperm. I have seen so many miracles happening. IVF itself is a great miracle by Dr Edwards and Steptoe. Had they not discovered this, so many infertile couples would not have been happy nowadays. My infertility was due to high level of testosterone, endometriosis and blocked tube due to endometriosis. All these I was not told by doctors, I discovered them on my own by reading and research and by doing blood tests. I don't understand why I am telling you all this. Perhaps I am on holidays, idle and thinking and regretting my past. Loneliness teaches you a lot. Loneliness makes one realised how busy others are. Once I had cursed myself with my jinxed tongue that "...........what if I come to be infertile?" At that time I was only 20yrs old, not yet married. Now I think well before talking. I don't want to hurt anyone with my words. There is nothing in life pleasant for an infertile lady. There is nobody around her. She is surrounded with memories and heartcries. However hard I try to say let bygones by bygones yet I cannot forget how many times my private parts have been seen by different doctors. Sorry.........................................
