tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post6167593440506654834..comments2024-02-14T13:29:46.876+01:00Comments on A Pursuit to Perpetuate My Genes: Are men the silent sufferers of infertility? What can a wife do to make her husband feel better and well-cared for during the infertility struggle?Manjuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09465166865789437941noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-12653282628517509512015-02-26T09:38:20.335+01:002015-02-26T09:38:20.335+01:00Such a well researched article. My DH is also a si...Such a well researched article. My DH is also a silent sufferer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-10255294066395951752013-05-27T18:56:22.826+02:002013-05-27T18:56:22.826+02:00Agree with the above poster that this is a good to...Agree with the above poster that this is a good topic which is rarely discussed. Good that you have discussed it in-depth. It's true that men and women handle such things in different ways. My husband loves children and was sad to see me so upset when our attempts failed, but he didn't cry. I asked him why, and his reply was 'well, one of us has to be the strong one'. Husbands are definitely emotionally affected, but they prefer to hide it as they want to be strong for us. Arielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11406223623869440728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-45791745737331752942013-01-11T15:05:05.041+01:002013-01-11T15:05:05.041+01:00A good topic, and rarely discussed. When I go to ...A good topic, and rarely discussed. When I go to infertility forums, the husband is always a background topic. I agree with your analysis about a man and woman's reaction to infertility. A woman's perspective is often visceral: there's an empty space in the crook of her arm where a baby belongs. A man's reaction is more cerebral: he's saddened by the days ahead that he'll never have with his son or daughter. <br /><br />I think men often don't speak up because of this disjunction in perspectives. I've noticed that woman with infertility issues have intense bursts of emotion that are driven by the wordless longing for a baby, but that's not the same sorrow that a man feels. A lot of men (like me) probably don't even really like babies (larval humans!) per se. While a woman is more likely to yearn for that two years of babyhood--- a time when they are wholey needed for some purpose--- men are more likely to look forward to the many years after. And so while a man's sorrow is just as real, it might seem foolish of him to make light of it because it doesn't really match the sheer volume, at the hardest times, of a woman's grief.<br /><br />And even though my wife and I are both people beholden to rational thoughts and not unhinged emotions, I can see how even we experience childlessness differently. For her, the pain comes in sharp pulses that leaves her in a fountain of tears. For me, it's a persistent droning that stalks me every moment, muffling every joy of life.Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11692756074193193644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-8553087920469044022012-10-02T08:28:02.327+02:002012-10-02T08:28:02.327+02:00I understand you completely Caroline. Please do no...I understand you completely Caroline. Please do not restrict your activities too much. Nothing you do can harm the little embies inside. Lots and lots of good luck!<br />Love<br />ManjuManjuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09465166865789437941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-27898452998168593882012-10-01T20:52:34.013+02:002012-10-01T20:52:34.013+02:00Thank you Manju :-))) I try not to think too much ...Thank you Manju :-))) I try not to think too much about it, although impossible !!! I am always thinking "is it still there? What if I move this way? Oh no, I just coughed, will it be fine ? Was it a good idea to do some gardening today ? And so on !" I am sure you understand me :-) The results are next Wednesday, can't wait for it ! <br />With all my friendship, CaroCarolinenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-29983313747751818062012-09-30T12:41:21.998+02:002012-09-30T12:41:21.998+02:00Dear Caro,
Thank You very much! What else can I s...Dear Caro,<br /><br />Thank You very much! What else can I say for all the love I receive from you : ) Your comments keep me going. I am sending you lots of positive thoughts. I sincerely wish that this transfer will be a success. All across the world humans share the same feelings, isn't it?<br />Love<br />ManjuManjuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09465166865789437941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-77040074128828602322012-09-30T11:21:18.792+02:002012-09-30T11:21:18.792+02:00Hello Manju,
How true this is ! I realize that s...Hello Manju, <br /><br />How true this is ! I realize that sometimes I speak in my own name when I tell my friends about our IVF stories whereas my husband suffers as much as I do. He does not show it because he wants to protect me, but I know he is very sad when our IVF fail or when our transfers are cancelled...Actually his sadness is revealed by the happiness and excitement he shows when an embryo is transferred, like past Friday :-)), or simply when he is in the company of kids. I am sure my husband would love to read your post!<br /><br />Last week, I met a woman who was waiting for her doctor and was very sad because her 6th IVF had failed. I told her to go to on your blog because it helps a lot, give strength and positivism. Thank you for everything Manju.Carolinenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-84045558527327545572012-09-24T15:05:44.649+02:002012-09-24T15:05:44.649+02:00I am happy to see you here and I am very happy tha...I am happy to see you here and I am very happy that my posts help you in some way. True : )Manjuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09465166865789437941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4970758006706422699.post-51484010800250017212012-09-24T12:31:18.047+02:002012-09-24T12:31:18.047+02:00Manju, I am thankful that I came across your posts...Manju, I am thankful that I came across your posts, they have started to give me lot of solace.<br />Men are very emotional, but do not know how to show their emotions. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus ;-)Mithyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05278576009368006527noreply@blogger.com